Michael Norman Randall...
...you have been found guilty of the murder of Arthur Reginald Webster...
...Charles Patrick Trumpington, Marcel Agnes Bernstein...
...Lewis Anona Rudd, John Malcolm Kerr...
...Nigel Sinclair Robinson, Norman Arthur Potter...
...Felicity Jayne Stone, Jean-Paul Reynard...
...Rachel Shirley Donaldson, Stephen Jay Greenblatt...
...Karl-Heinz Miller, Belinda Anne Ventham...
...Juan-Carlos Fernandez, Thor Olaf Stensgaard...
...Lord Kimberley of Pretoria, Lady Kimberley of Pretoria...
...The Right Honourable Nigel Warmsly Kimberley, Robert Henry Noonan...
...and Felix James Bennet...
...on or about the morning of the 19th of December 1972.
Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?
Yes, sir. I'm very sorry.
- Very sorry? - Yes, sir.
It was a very, very bad thing to have done.
And I'm really very ashamed of myself.
I can only say it won't happen again.
To have murdered so many people...
...in such a short space of time is really awful.
And I really am very, very, very sorry that I did it.
And also that I've taken up so much of the court's valuable time...
...listening to the sordid details of these senseless killings of mine.
I'd particularly like to say a personal and sincere sorry to you, milord.
For my appalling behaviour throughout this trial.
I'd also like to say sorry to for the police...
...for putting them through so much trouble.
And to the literally hours of work they've had to put in...
...collecting evidence and identifying corpses and so forth.
You know, I think sometimes people don't realize...
...the difficult and often dangerous work involved...
...in tracking down violent criminals.
And I'd like them to know that their fine work is at least appreciated by me.
Oh, no, no. We're only doing our job.
No, no, really.
It's very good of you to say that, but I know what you've been through.
No, no. We've had worse.
It was plain sailing apart from the arrest.
I know and I'm grateful. I'd like to apologize too...
...to the prosecuting council for dragging him in here...
...morning after morning in such lovely weather.
Well, I would have had to come in anyway.
Oh, good.
- What a presentation of a case. - Oh, thank you.
Oh, no, it's a privilege to watch you in action.
- I never had a chance. - Yes, you did.
No, not after that summing-up. Great.
Now it's come to the jury. What can I say?
I've dragged you in here day after day...
...keeping you away from your homes, your jobs, your loved ones.
Just to hear the private details of my petty atrocities.
Well, no, it was very interesting.
- You could have had a nicer case. - Oh, no, no. Murder's much more fun.
- Yes and so many of them. - Excellent.
We've had a terrific time.
I'm sorry, I'm very moved.
So, milord, it only remains for you to pass the most savage sentence...
- ...on me that the law can provide. - Well, not necessarily.
No, milord, the full penalty of the law is highly sufficient.
- I insist I must be made example of. - Well, yes and no.
- I mean, society at large... - No, milord. Not with mass murder.
But in this case, don't you think-J?
- Yes, yes. - Oh, come on, milord.
- You've got to give me life. - No, no, no.
Well, 10 years at least.
- Oh, shame. - Ten years?
- Well, five then, be fair. - No, no, no.
I've given you three months.
Oh, that's so embarrassing, I won't hear of it. Give me six, please.
- Well, all right, six months. - Thank you, milord.
But suspended.
Three cheers for the defendant, hip-hip...
- Hooray! 'Hip-hip...
Hooray!
For he's a jolly good felon For he's a jolly good felon
Which nobody can deny
While I'm on the subject of Westerns, I want to take a closer look...
...at one of my favourite film directors...
...Sam Peckinpah, the expatriate from Fresno, California.
In his earliest films, Major Dundee, The Wild Bunch...
...and Straw Dogs, he showed his predilection...
...for the utterly truthful and very sexually arousing portrayal...
...of violence in its darkest form.
In his latest film, Peckinpah's moved into the calm and more lyrical waters...
...of Julian Slade's Salad Days.
- Hello, everybody. - Hello, Lionel.
I say, what a simply super day.
- Gosh, yes. - And it's so, you know, sunny.
Yes, isn't it?
I say, anyone for tennis?
- Oh, super. - What fun!
I say, Lionel, catch.
Oh, crikey.
Pretty strong meat there from Sam Peckinpah.
Nigel, wonderful to see you.
Super, super, super.
- Am I a teeny bit late? - Well, a bit. An hour.
Oh, super. Only Snowdon's been retouching my profile...
...and we can't upset the lovely Snowdon, can we?
David Bloggs, the one and only. Super to see you.
Who are you working for? Come and work for me. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.
It is really lovely to have this little chat with you.
- Well... - It is so nice to be able to have...
...this little talk about things. I heard a teeny rumour that you were married.
Well, not quite. My wife's just died, actually.
Oh, dear. Brian! We must get together again soon.
See you. Bye.
Well, perhaps we could do a tribute to her on the show.
- Oh no... - I'll get Peter, William, Arthur...
...Alex, Joan, Ted, Scott, Will, John and Ray to fix it up.
It is so nice having this little chat.
Well, actually, Timmy, I'm glad to get you-
You don't mind if Peter just sits in, do you?
- Well, actually... - He's doing an article on me...
- ...for The Mail, he's a lovely person. - Hello.
Peter, this is one of the nicest people in the world, Nigel Watt.
W-A-double-T, that's right.
Well, actually, Timmy, the thing is, it's a bit private.
Oh, you don't mind if Peter just sits in, do you.
Peter's writing a book on me.
Peter, you know Tony from The Mail, don't you?
- Yes, we met in the Turkish bath. - Super, super.
Did it come up well in the writing yesterday?
- Great, great. - You took out the tummy reference?
- Yes, I did. - Super, super, super.
Just to fill you in, this is Nigel Watt, and we're having a little heart to heart.
H-E-A-R-T.
- Do go on, Nigel. - Well, the thing is, Timmy...
Do carry on, it's the TV Times.
Only they syndicate these photographs to America.
Would you mind if we just-J? Super, super. One over here, I think, Bob.
A little smile, please. Smashing, smashing.
Feel free, Bob, to circulate, won't you.
Do go on, this is most interesting.
Well, the thing is, Timmy, I'm a bit embarrassed-
Sir Williams, nice to see you. Will you sign this for my daughter, please?
Hello, Mario, super, wonderful, just two lovely coffees, please.
Sorry, Timmy, can we just go from where Mario comes in...
...we're getting bad sound. Okay?
It's German television, isn't it exciting, Nigel?
They're doing a prize-winning documentary on me.
The Wonderful Mr. Williams, scene 239, take two.
Speed...
- ...action! - Mario, how super to see you.
How are the lovely family? Please give your little daughter this...
...thank you and just two lovely coffees, please.
Such a lovely waiter. Now, go on, please, this is most interesting.
Well, as I was saying, Timmy, my wife's gone.
Gone. I got three children and I'm at my wit's end.
No job, no insurance, no money at all.
I'm absolutely flat broke, I just don't know where to turn.
I'm absolutely at the end of my tether.
You're my only chance, can you help me please, Timmy?
Sorry, I was on the phone.
This is super having this lovely, little chat.
We must do this again more often. Will you get the coffees?
I'm afraid I must dash, I'm an hour late at the Israeli Embassy.
Did you get that shot all right, sound?
- Yes, fine. - It wasn't a bit too wicked, was it?
- Oh, no. - Too cruel?
- It was very nice. - Now, super.
- I think it shows I'm human, don't you? - Yeah, it's great.
Well, the charabanc's here, come on, everybody.
Bye!
Timmy Williams Coffee Time was brought to you live.